Sex Education and the Christian Home
I wasn't brought up in a Christian home. It was 'Christianized' but not a product of two born again believers. Wewent to church on an occasional Sunday, we were taught certain things were right and wrong but God was always a shadow in the background....not a personal Saviour in our lives. As a result, I grew up with more of an intuitive knowledge of the morality my parents expected, there were no absolutes until I 'crossed the line' . I was never taught about Biblical values and where a happy, Christian marriage was concerned, that never even entered the conversations my parents and I had while my formative years came into play.
My parents NEVER discussed sex in any terms around me. I saw them VERY occasionally, kiss (never passionately), sometimes hug, but since the time I was 6 years old, my parents did not share a marriage bed. I don't remember what prompted my father and mother seperating their belongings and their rooms, I only remember yelling, some violent outbursts on the part of my father and then.......a very uncomfortable silence and things were never the same again.
Maybe it was the coldness in my parents relationship that kept them from discussing the big 'S' word.....maybe it was their own uncomfortability with knowing what to say....I don't know.
My recollection of sexual knowledge was very much the textbook kid-on-the-street event. I remember hearing about his 'thing' goes inside of your 'thing'. It seemed all so terribly impossible. I was shocked and amazed that it could be that way and the very idea seemed scary to me.
As I grew, we were visited in my public high school by the friendly people from the local Planned Parenthood chapter, who proceded to discuss several different birth control methods and assured the class if we came to them, all would be kept in the strictest confidence. It wasn't long before I paid a visit to their office and got my 'keys' to unbridled and 'safe' sexual activity.
When my husband and I married, both born-again Christians at this point, sex had a whole new meaning to me. I learned it was Biblical, undefiled and to be viewed as a blessing as well as a means to procreate. I truly wished I had wasted less of my life being lost and being in one bad relationship after another. God certainly had a wonderful plan for married couples and a means to find the right person to fill that void we all seem to have. However, how is this best communicated to children? When and what do we say?
Actions have always spoken louder than mere words. Showing your children that you are a wife as well as a mother is something that takes very little time. You try to show that your husband comes first. You kiss him....(yes, sometimes passionately...though I feel that should be displayed in the home rather than out in the middle of public), you make a point to do things with just their daddy and that mom and dad enjoy each other's company. They need to see times when mom and dad are angry or sad with each other but that in the end, through prayer and repentence, they can come together and forgive just as Christ forgave us our debt to Him.
That's the emotional, sociological end....but what about the physical?
Some Christian parents may not agree with me here. You have to understand my point of view: I was training to be in the field of midwifery. Bodily functions, reproduction, breast feeding, sexuality are unmistakenly a part of all I was learning and practicing to, in the end, help birth a healthy baby. When my children ask questions I believe in answering them point blank, using proper language and making sure that they understand. When my now older children were younger, I explained to them incremently about how their bodies were changing and what to expect. I didn't want them to come home screaming hysterically one day because they thought they were hemorrhaging to death. They needed to be prepared for menstruation and what that meant. So we talked about it and even though they may have been embarrased at some point, I felt they needed to be ready.
As my babies were preparing to be birthed, I gave my children the option to be with me and I also explained what was taking place and according to their understanding, how it happened that mommy became pregnant. It was always miraculous to have a new baby come into our lives and in some ways, having the children be allowed to come in or leave the room on their own terms drew us all closer together. My son cut the umbilical cord for his now 11 year old sister and it seems he favors her more as well.
The Bible has many references to marriage and sexual unions that were either blessed or corrupted by sin. God's Word shows consequences for adultery, fornication and for reprobate activity such as sodomy and bestiality. As my children and I homeschool and read through the Bible together, we find many examples of such behaviors as well as positive ones. We study through them, discuss them and digest them.
If I were to try to pin down a proper term for teaching sexual education within the scope of a Christian home, I would be tempted to use a more 'new age' term because in this case....it really does fit. I would say, it should be 'Wholistic". Body-Soul-Spirit.
In the end, every Christian household must find it's own 'right' way to teach their children about sexuality. However, delivery is one thing, Bible facts are another. Consult God's Word before you teach behaviour and pray to make sure you're doing the right thing at home too.
Family life should not be a forbidden mystery. It should be lived, explained and acted upon.
It wasn't until Planned Parenthood gave me the go ahead I needed that I really rebelled against my parents and morality. Of course, that's how the Devil's crowd works. They come in smiling...
so friendly... but all the while, the grin is just the means of baring their teeth so they can devour you. I see this happen all the time and not just in the Worldly families...in Christian ones too.
We need to call sin sin and we need to show a clear line between good and evil, God's Word and the Devil's lies. Christian parents have the obligation of preparing their daughters for life as good mothers and wives and sons to be faithful husbands. We cannot do it with the world's tools. We can only do it with our one, true guidebook, the Bible. If we don't, there are many kids-on-the-street, and 'agencies' that will gladly fill our shoes.
I wasn't brought up in a Christian home. It was 'Christianized' but not a product of two born again believers. Wewent to church on an occasional Sunday, we were taught certain things were right and wrong but God was always a shadow in the background....not a personal Saviour in our lives. As a result, I grew up with more of an intuitive knowledge of the morality my parents expected, there were no absolutes until I 'crossed the line' . I was never taught about Biblical values and where a happy, Christian marriage was concerned, that never even entered the conversations my parents and I had while my formative years came into play.
My parents NEVER discussed sex in any terms around me. I saw them VERY occasionally, kiss (never passionately), sometimes hug, but since the time I was 6 years old, my parents did not share a marriage bed. I don't remember what prompted my father and mother seperating their belongings and their rooms, I only remember yelling, some violent outbursts on the part of my father and then.......a very uncomfortable silence and things were never the same again.
Maybe it was the coldness in my parents relationship that kept them from discussing the big 'S' word.....maybe it was their own uncomfortability with knowing what to say....I don't know.
My recollection of sexual knowledge was very much the textbook kid-on-the-street event. I remember hearing about his 'thing' goes inside of your 'thing'. It seemed all so terribly impossible. I was shocked and amazed that it could be that way and the very idea seemed scary to me.
As I grew, we were visited in my public high school by the friendly people from the local Planned Parenthood chapter, who proceded to discuss several different birth control methods and assured the class if we came to them, all would be kept in the strictest confidence. It wasn't long before I paid a visit to their office and got my 'keys' to unbridled and 'safe' sexual activity.
When my husband and I married, both born-again Christians at this point, sex had a whole new meaning to me. I learned it was Biblical, undefiled and to be viewed as a blessing as well as a means to procreate. I truly wished I had wasted less of my life being lost and being in one bad relationship after another. God certainly had a wonderful plan for married couples and a means to find the right person to fill that void we all seem to have. However, how is this best communicated to children? When and what do we say?
Actions have always spoken louder than mere words. Showing your children that you are a wife as well as a mother is something that takes very little time. You try to show that your husband comes first. You kiss him....(yes, sometimes passionately...though I feel that should be displayed in the home rather than out in the middle of public), you make a point to do things with just their daddy and that mom and dad enjoy each other's company. They need to see times when mom and dad are angry or sad with each other but that in the end, through prayer and repentence, they can come together and forgive just as Christ forgave us our debt to Him.
That's the emotional, sociological end....but what about the physical?
Some Christian parents may not agree with me here. You have to understand my point of view: I was training to be in the field of midwifery. Bodily functions, reproduction, breast feeding, sexuality are unmistakenly a part of all I was learning and practicing to, in the end, help birth a healthy baby. When my children ask questions I believe in answering them point blank, using proper language and making sure that they understand. When my now older children were younger, I explained to them incremently about how their bodies were changing and what to expect. I didn't want them to come home screaming hysterically one day because they thought they were hemorrhaging to death. They needed to be prepared for menstruation and what that meant. So we talked about it and even though they may have been embarrased at some point, I felt they needed to be ready.
As my babies were preparing to be birthed, I gave my children the option to be with me and I also explained what was taking place and according to their understanding, how it happened that mommy became pregnant. It was always miraculous to have a new baby come into our lives and in some ways, having the children be allowed to come in or leave the room on their own terms drew us all closer together. My son cut the umbilical cord for his now 11 year old sister and it seems he favors her more as well.
The Bible has many references to marriage and sexual unions that were either blessed or corrupted by sin. God's Word shows consequences for adultery, fornication and for reprobate activity such as sodomy and bestiality. As my children and I homeschool and read through the Bible together, we find many examples of such behaviors as well as positive ones. We study through them, discuss them and digest them.
If I were to try to pin down a proper term for teaching sexual education within the scope of a Christian home, I would be tempted to use a more 'new age' term because in this case....it really does fit. I would say, it should be 'Wholistic". Body-Soul-Spirit.
In the end, every Christian household must find it's own 'right' way to teach their children about sexuality. However, delivery is one thing, Bible facts are another. Consult God's Word before you teach behaviour and pray to make sure you're doing the right thing at home too.
Family life should not be a forbidden mystery. It should be lived, explained and acted upon.
It wasn't until Planned Parenthood gave me the go ahead I needed that I really rebelled against my parents and morality. Of course, that's how the Devil's crowd works. They come in smiling...
so friendly... but all the while, the grin is just the means of baring their teeth so they can devour you. I see this happen all the time and not just in the Worldly families...in Christian ones too.
We need to call sin sin and we need to show a clear line between good and evil, God's Word and the Devil's lies. Christian parents have the obligation of preparing their daughters for life as good mothers and wives and sons to be faithful husbands. We cannot do it with the world's tools. We can only do it with our one, true guidebook, the Bible. If we don't, there are many kids-on-the-street, and 'agencies' that will gladly fill our shoes.
posted by Eileen Slattery | 6:25 PM
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