Sex Education and the Christian Home

I wasn't brought up in a Christian home. It was 'Christianized' but not a product of two born again believers. Wewent to church on an occasional Sunday, we were taught certain things were right and wrong but God was always a shadow in the background....not a personal Saviour in our lives. As a result, I grew up with more of an intuitive knowledge of the morality my parents expected, there were no absolutes until I 'crossed the line' . I was never taught about Biblical values and where a happy, Christian marriage was concerned, that never even entered the conversations my parents and I had while my formative years came into play.

My parents NEVER discussed sex in any terms around me. I saw them VERY occasionally, kiss (never passionately), sometimes hug, but since the time I was 6 years old, my parents did not share a marriage bed. I don't remember what prompted my father and mother seperating their belongings and their rooms, I only remember yelling, some violent outbursts on the part of my father and then.......a very uncomfortable silence and things were never the same again.
Maybe it was the coldness in my parents relationship that kept them from discussing the big 'S' word.....maybe it was their own uncomfortability with knowing what to say....I don't know.

My recollection of sexual knowledge was very much the textbook kid-on-the-street event. I remember hearing about his 'thing' goes inside of your 'thing'. It seemed all so terribly impossible. I was shocked and amazed that it could be that way and the very idea seemed scary to me.
As I grew, we were visited in my public high school by the friendly people from the local Planned Parenthood chapter, who proceded to discuss several different birth control methods and assured the class if we came to them, all would be kept in the strictest confidence. It wasn't long before I paid a visit to their office and got my 'keys' to unbridled and 'safe' sexual activity.

When my husband and I married, both born-again Christians at this point, sex had a whole new meaning to me. I learned it was Biblical, undefiled and to be viewed as a blessing as well as a means to procreate. I truly wished I had wasted less of my life being lost and being in one bad relationship after another. God certainly had a wonderful plan for married couples and a means to find the right person to fill that void we all seem to have. However, how is this best communicated to children? When and what do we say?

Actions have always spoken louder than mere words. Showing your children that you are a wife as well as a mother is something that takes very little time. You try to show that your husband comes first. You kiss him....(yes, sometimes passionately...though I feel that should be displayed in the home rather than out in the middle of public), you make a point to do things with just their daddy and that mom and dad enjoy each other's company. They need to see times when mom and dad are angry or sad with each other but that in the end, through prayer and repentence, they can come together and forgive just as Christ forgave us our debt to Him.
That's the emotional, sociological end....but what about the physical?

Some Christian parents may not agree with me here. You have to understand my point of view: I was training to be in the field of midwifery. Bodily functions, reproduction, breast feeding, sexuality are unmistakenly a part of all I was learning and practicing to, in the end, help birth a healthy baby. When my children ask questions I believe in answering them point blank, using proper language and making sure that they understand. When my now older children were younger, I explained to them incremently about how their bodies were changing and what to expect. I didn't want them to come home screaming hysterically one day because they thought they were hemorrhaging to death. They needed to be prepared for menstruation and what that meant. So we talked about it and even though they may have been embarrased at some point, I felt they needed to be ready.
As my babies were preparing to be birthed, I gave my children the option to be with me and I also explained what was taking place and according to their understanding, how it happened that mommy became pregnant. It was always miraculous to have a new baby come into our lives and in some ways, having the children be allowed to come in or leave the room on their own terms drew us all closer together. My son cut the umbilical cord for his now 11 year old sister and it seems he favors her more as well.
The Bible has many references to marriage and sexual unions that were either blessed or corrupted by sin. God's Word shows consequences for adultery, fornication and for reprobate activity such as sodomy and bestiality. As my children and I homeschool and read through the Bible together, we find many examples of such behaviors as well as positive ones. We study through them, discuss them and digest them.
If I were to try to pin down a proper term for teaching sexual education within the scope of a Christian home, I would be tempted to use a more 'new age' term because in this case....it really does fit. I would say, it should be 'Wholistic". Body-Soul-Spirit.
In the end, every Christian household must find it's own 'right' way to teach their children about sexuality. However, delivery is one thing, Bible facts are another. Consult God's Word before you teach behaviour and pray to make sure you're doing the right thing at home too.
Family life should not be a forbidden mystery. It should be lived, explained and acted upon.

It wasn't until Planned Parenthood gave me the go ahead I needed that I really rebelled against my parents and morality. Of course, that's how the Devil's crowd works. They come in smiling...
so friendly... but all the while, the grin is just the means of baring their teeth so they can devour you. I see this happen all the time and not just in the Worldly families...in Christian ones too.
We need to call sin sin and we need to show a clear line between good and evil, God's Word and the Devil's lies. Christian parents have the obligation of preparing their daughters for life as good mothers and wives and sons to be faithful husbands. We cannot do it with the world's tools. We can only do it with our one, true guidebook, the Bible. If we don't, there are many kids-on-the-street, and 'agencies' that will gladly fill our shoes.

The ADD Lie and the Absence of Guilt:

Ok-first we were fed the 'neural-tube defect lie', the hyperactivity lie, the adult ADD lie.....what's next?
Attention Deficit Disorder has become a catch-all term from public school teachers to the medical establishment which explains a syndrome that seems to prevent little Johnny and Judy from being 'good', well-behaved children. They can't help it.....they were born with ADD. They have to take their medication everyday (Ritalin) or else they just cannot control themselves!

As Judy and Johnny grow they have to continue to stay on some form of medication because now they have Adult ADD......they just can't function in the' real world' without their Strattera .

At least that is what Eli Lily and Co. would have you believe.


This is how I see it:

Mom and Dad decided they want the 'very best' for little Johnny and Judy. That means that Mom will have to abandon the nest, take on a full-time job and help to make the payments for the 3rd, brand new car and the $250.000 home, the cable t.v. , the Hilfiger clothes and the pricey, family vacations.
That also means that Johnny and Judy will be raised by surrogates because Mom and Dad are too busy paying for toys.
The surrogate may or may not uphold what the family's values are .... but it's hard to get good help these days.
The kids are taught situations ethics, that there is no God or if there is one, you can check in with Him every Sunday at your local 501c-3 gathering. He loves everybody and so would never send anyone to Hell! After all there is no right or wrong....just different ways of seeing things.
Because there is no right or wrong, Johnny and Judy grow up doing just about anything they want to, eating just about anything they want to because they need to express themselves.
Mom has to express herself too so she needs lots of time to pursue her interests because afterall, this is the 21st Century, women are no longer tied to the home and Dad could do the housework and cooking for a change.
When Johnny and Judy feel intuitively that they are on a directionless path, they need to 'act-out'. They should be allowed to speak their minds and show their anger, they should never be made to feel guilty about that! When they have control issues....well, the Guidance Counselor can help Mom and Dad decide that a particular drug can help with the children's hyperactivity. That way they can slow-down....dull-down and be easily manipulated by the adults who only want to 'help' them......Do people really buy this bill of goods? The answer is yes! and the drug companies LOVE IT!!


If parents are really concerned about their children, the main course of action is to BE there. Mothers, stay home with your babies. Nurse them with your precious milk and give them a good healthy start. Don't let anyone inject them with toxic substances for 'their own good and public safety'. It's a lie!
As they grow, teach them about the Lord who sacrificed Himself to pay for their SIN! Yes...guilt is a good thing! It teaches responsibility and the difference between sinfulness and that which is good in the eyes of our own Creator.
Teach them that for every wrong, there is a consequence. Love them, spank them when they are small and reward them when they are good.
Dad, show them what the difference is between a Godly father and husband and a worldy, emasculated man that has no power with God and is subject to the whim of any other authority.

Teach your children obedience. This cannot be done long distance or through a surrogate. This is hands-on with biblical counsel. The Bible has to be the rule book for our lives and the power we wield to frustrate the effects of darkness. Without God's Word, we have no power, without power there is no recognition of evil and no way to expunge it from our lives.

Yes-guilt is a good thing! It is what has brought each believer to the cross for salvation. Without the admission of sin, there is no salvation!

For the Christian mother, do not buy into the lie that the world has to offer:

2Ti 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2Ti 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
2Ti 3:3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
2Ti 3:4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
2Ti 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
2Ti 3:6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
2Ti 3:7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Don't be 'silly women'.....
Psychiatry in it's many forms, is just a crutch offered by the world. It is a dirty bandaid to a problem brought on by sin.

We have one Father, one Lord who is able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness and is able to heal our minds and make us stronger.

Drugs cannot do that.....Psychiatry cannot do that.
Only God's Word can help us attain what we need:


2Ti 3:14 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
2Ti 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
2Ti 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
2Ti 3:17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

TRUE BEAUTY LIES IN MODESTY

I have seven daughters and so seven very good reasons to be concerned about the issue of modesty.
I came from the 'go-go' generation....born in the late 50's and growing up in the 60's and 70's. I've witnessed the gradual undressing of America over the years. Not that I have by any means led my life as a 'prude'. Before I was converted, I had very little inhibition about clothing and even after I met the Saviour, I know he must have grit his teeth more than once at what I allowed myself to be seen in!
The Lord knows, as I do now, that we don't all grow at the same spiritual rate. What I know now took years of study, prayer and conviction to assimilate.
One very important lesson I learned is that modesty for a Christian woman is a glory!
Maybe the fashions of today are eye-catching with the piercings, tattoos and all clothes worn tight, short and provacatively.....and maybe to wordly eyes they shimmer of a carnel beauty, but a truly modest woman, who has a meek, Godly nature ....well, that is a special loveliness that even the world can notice and admire.
Is modesty just clothing though? No...my belief is that modesty is more of an attitude. Does modesty mean being a perpetual wallflower? Speaking only when spoken to and acting demure and innocent?
I don't believe that either. I think a woman can be discreet...thinking about what she says before she says it, I think she can speak her mind and do so in a Godly fashion without railing and nagging. I think that a woman who has taken a few minutes with her Heavenly Father each day to pray and ask for guidance in ALL things (nothing is too small for our Lord) and than listens with her spiritual ears for direction is a beauty none can surpass. It's what I strive to be and yet in this flesh, tend to come far short, but continue to strive for.

Saying this, how does this fit in to mother and child health and what is the great deception in this?
First, young ladies that grow up in Christian homes where standards of dress are of import, are less likely to attract attention from the crowd that views women as sexual objects alone. These girls do not uncover thighs, midriffs, backs, or wear low-cut dresses and tops. They guard what is private because God created their bodies to serve Him and not to be exploited by the world. Usually, these young ladies are taught that the MARRIAGE bed is undefiled.....that means get married before you have a sexual union, otherwise the relationship is DEFILED!

This is where God's outline for Christian health is shown: STD's are not usually found in a faithful, Christian marriage. Your desire is for each other and is not to be impeded by artificial means such as birth control pills, spermicides or 'sex toys' which not only harm desire for each other, but have the capacity to bring in bacteria into the most vulnerable parts of your body.

Rapes and murders that begin with rape are usually fueled by pornography which has taken hold in the mind of a sick individual. If you don't think that rape is a sexual crime but have bought the lie of rape being a violent act against women regardless what they look like, well...I think you are a bit naive. Maybe that isn't true ALL the time but more times than not, it is true!
Don't go out dressed like a street walker if you don't want that kind of attention. God does look on the heart but remember it is those that are around you that see the outside and judge what you are because of it.

The great deception is that most churches have abandoned teaching men and women standards of dress and what true modesty means . Most preachers are worried about 'offending' their congregation because they .....to put it plainly.....need their retirement money! Remember, the corporate church has to please Caesar first and then....if it's comfortable, please the Lord. So, you end up with a lot of young men and women coming into the congregation with all the world's trimmings and it becomes a social club where fashion trends are upheld and the salt of the gospel is absorbed in the world's soup!
These folks later grow into old men and women that except for getting up close and seeing the front of them, you can't tell which is which! The women are all shorn, wear pants and tee-shirts and the men are the same.
There is no femininity, there is no example for the younger women. Yet, these folks say they are Chrsitians. Well, maybe so....but shouldn't you see the fruit of a tree on the outside of the tree?

In closing, what I hope to pass on in this blog today, is that the men and women, mothers and fathers of our churches, need to take seriously the idea of seperation in ALL aspects of our lives. Women cannot be exploited unless they allow it and men will not exploit them if women hold their position as saints in Christ seriously. Ladies, if that is what you claim to be because you have been born again, then don't allow Satan to get that foothold in your life. Let the world that is sick and dying see Christ in you by the way to walk, talk and dress and teach your children by example......before it's too late and they see the hypocrasy instead.